I said that i wasn't going to do a look back on the day of n30, coz it's just too big to try and get all thoughts and feelings down, so i'm not, i'm leaving that to people a lot more skilled in the art of writing, and connecting the thinking bit of the brain to the typing bit of the fingers, what i am going to talk about is issues, specifically things that i have issues wit, and they have issues with me.
There are many many things that i have issues with, ranging from bigotted cunts, to ignoramuses, to sheeple, but there is only 1 thing i can think of that i have an issue with, and which in return has an issue with me, and over the last few weeks it has been at the forefront of my mind.
This thing is something that everybody needs, but in varying amounts, and that everybody finds a problem at times....I'm talking about Sleep, Glorious Sleep, the time when we are able to switch off from all the worries and woes of the universe, and let our overact brains start spinning little hallucinogenic nuggets iof insanity that are otherwise called dreams.
What is my issue with sleep?? It's the constantly rotating sessions of sleep disorder that i have, going from Insomnia, to Hypersomnia, with narcolepsy thrown in on occasions. I worked out, that if you average out my sleeping out, i need a minimum of 11hrs to function as a human being, and even then, that is pushing it! I do not understand how people can cope on 4 hours, as infamously Margaret Thatcher did. actually, i can work it out in her case, she's a cyborg, she's the second prototype cyborg ever made, after Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. Is it all starting to make sense yet? Thats why she could get by on 4 hours sleep (we all know it was actually no sleep, she just needed to hide the fact that she was a cyborg who got her power through the broken dreams of the working class). I'm definitely not one of those people.
As well as the hours upon hours upon hours of sleep that i need, i also need about 4 hours from when i eventually wake, until i am a fully functioning human being, and not a zombie, anybody who has ever seen me in the morning will know that to be a fact. I cnnot function until my head has tried to contrast the warm fuzziness of being in sleep land to the cold harsh reality of the real world. this is normally a long long battle, in which i am just a spectator, sat with a gallon cup of tea in my hand, staring blankly into the wall while lounging on my settee in my dressing gown. The battle is a long fought one, but unfortunately, reality normally wins, and so i have to drag myself away :(
Over the last few weeks, in the build up to #n30, i have been having problems with my sleep, when i say problems, what i really mean is that i am so stressed, and so exhausted from the build up, that when it gets to be sleep time, it was taking my head 5+hrs to get relaxed enough that it could go to sleep, and then by the time it was time to get up for work, it had only just started the obligatory hallucinations. This obviously leads to a vicious vicious spiral, and then suddenly, me, the man who doesn't do stress, the man who normally has a natural THC content right up through the roof, the man who is stoned without even smoking, gets so so so so stressed that i just explode, and dish out physical vilence, involving my skull, to inanimate objects. It doesn't hurt (i seem to have an adamantium skull) but it is very very satisfying.
Now that n30 is over, my plans involve resetting my Body/Sleep interface, by forcing it into a mutual assured position, through the copious use of raspberry vodka, spicy vodka, beer, and sleeping tablets. I dopn't know whetehr i'll come out of this a human being, or if i will have turned into a grizzlky bear, but whatever, happens, my body may catch up on the long long missing sleep. If i'm not seen by monday, don't call the police, just let me be. I'll wake up when i'm ready in spring.
This may also mean that i sleep away my last month of being in my 20s, if so, fair play. I'll see you when i'm older.
Auf wiedersehen pets
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