Bleurgh

So, into the last stret,hes of both the year and my twenties, and i'm all worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally. All I want to do right now is just go to one of my 3 faviurite places in the country, anderby creek, kinder downfall, or goran haven, and just stick a tent up, and commune with nature again. I'm going back up to the family house in 2 days time, right out in the middle of nowhere, spending a few days just hibernating. I just want this blank cloud thats fallen over my head to disappear so I can get on with life. Have met some absokutely great people this year, both irl and online, and had fucking awesome times, but my head has decided to reset itself to its natural state of hating every single thing about me...

Simply put, I can't see a single good thing about myself, physically, mentally or emotionally, so I do not get it in the slightest when people say good things about me, it just does not compute. I hope that I do get better soon, I hope the three week break i'm gonna have soon helps, especially coz i'm gonna be spending a fair few days up with my second family in liverpool all of whom are awesome.  I hope my head mends itself soonish, coz i've recently had to do the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my entire life, but I had to do it, for the sake of my own mental recuperation. 

All I want right now, is a tent, solitude, vodka and weed. That is all I need